My baby is now Nine Months old. *shudders*. I don’t know why I find this so insanely terrifying, but I do. I really really do.

Now, this may sound a little bit weird to you but before I had the little lady, I couldn’t picture her. Like at all. I wanted her so desperately, but I couldn’t see our future with her. I couldn’t see how she was going to fit in. I couldn’t see what she would look like. I couldn’t figure out what her personality would be like. Nope, I just couldn’t see her at all.

And now, I literally cannot un-see her lol. She is such a perfect part of our lives, this tiny human whose personality borders on both wild and hilariously happy, to a serious and considerate thinker. She is someone who we could not and will not ever be able to live without.

It’s funny when you think about just how much of an impact such a teeny tiny little lady can have on our lives. Whenever I take my son somewhere where there is a little baby, all he wants to do is kiss them and touch them. He has so much love for other babies because he has SO much fun with his sister, and he see’s her in all of them. At the moment our world (for better or worse) kind of revolves around her. And we are all totally cool with that. We are smitten.

Because even though we LOVE our days “off” as parents when we can get them, we miss her terribly (as well as the mini man) when she isn’t with us. She is a veritable ball of sunshine whose smile just lights up the whole world. She is our baby angel. The one who has brought so much joy into our lives after, for those of you who know me, what has been a super shit time. Possibly the shittest actually, but that’s a story for another time.

Fuck, alright, who gave me a keyboard? I am obviously out of my mind with exhaustion and heart swelling love… But, enough of that. And back to the point.

What is she up to this month now that she is 9 months old, you ask?

Well, let me tell you my impatient and questiony friend.

And let me start with what she is doing at this very second. Firstly, she is not sleeping. No sir, she is not. To be completely honest with you (and I feel like I can), I am at this second ignoring her as she calls out for me from her bed. I am hoping that she will put herself back to sleep shortly because it is WAY too early for her to be awake. Though I suspect that this will not happen and that it will be just one of those damn days. Sigh.

Now, before you get all angry at me for letting her cry and telling me that I am cruel, let me tell you that right now, I know that she isn’t upset. I KNOW what her upset cry sounds like. And whats happening right now is not it. This cry is her “Why the fuck am I awake now, someone bring me a scone” cry. Except of course she doesn’t eat scones. Sigh. #GawdTheyAreDelicious

But don’t worry, because I have the timer on. If she doesn’t go back to sleep in the next 7-10 minutes, and her cry changes to a “where are you, you asshole” kind of cry then I will go and grab her, smooch her and talk her for a nice walk. Because fresh air makes both of us perk right the frick up. #ShameWeHaveToWalkAlongSideAHighwayThoughSigh.

As it turned out after writing the above, she WAS annoyed, because she had stood herself up in her cot, and thought she was in jail. She felt rage, not tired. And she felt a tooth coming through. Bloody teeth.

But that still tells you nothing about what she is really up to this month.

Well, she is crawling like a boss, and go’DAMN it was hilarious watching her get the hang of that! She honestly has the most dramatic crawl that I have ever seen, since I used to watch some of my friends crawl mid vodka to a nearby garden bed to have a power spew. Oh, wait, no that was me. I had the power spew. Never mind, forget I said anything. Wait, what?! Sssh.

She is getting around everywhere and is getting into everything. And stuck UNDER everything to be more specific. I don’t know what she thinks she will achieve by crawling under the couch, but she loves doing it. Hates getting stuck though.

Its bloody hilarious to watch.

The little lady babe still loves to slap me in the face, but it seems to be settling down just a little bit, instead being replaced by yanking on my hair, and pinching my neck skin. I thought we were past that, but boy oh boy was I dead wrong. That girl is like a bloody radar, finding bits of skin I never even knew I had before giving it a good ole’ squeeze.

Ouch. Fricking Ouch.

She is eating finger food these days like an absolute boss, slurping down fingers of zucchini and eggplant like its nobodies business. Yes, my little food monster is now eating exactly what we eat and that bloody suits me fine because that means less cooking for me – hooray! #ShutUpImLazyOkay

However the most exciting thing that has happened, and yet the most terrifying thing at the same time, is that she is standing up on the furniture all day long. If she sees me sitting there relaxing at any point, then she crawls over to me and DEMANDS my fingers for her to hold onto so she can stand up, dance (not on purpose though) and keep a super vigilant eye on what her feet are doing.

She almost bends in half sometimes trying to watch those sweet baby feet twinkle their way around the dance floor (aka our carpet). It’s like they have a mind of their own and she is just trying to understand what the heck her legs are.

And today all of that standing and dancing practise led to her climbing up the bottom two steps of our stair case today. She looks so proud of herself, and so determined, and then when she got stuck she looked at me like we were the most selfish parents in the world for not providing her with wider steps to practise on. Gawd we are so rude.

That means the baby gates are going on ASAP! Because our stairs are numerous in number, and her head is very precious. You know what I mean?

The babe seems to have a lot more understanding this month. She knows what I am talking about and I can see that she is filing all the words in her brain, like “bottle”, and “asshole” for later once she has climbed her Everest (aka the stairs). Oh, and once she more time to practise yelling at us to stop swearing and weeing on the floor. #ChannellingHerInnerMumPerhaps.

And she now has realised that the dog is an actual thing. Like, that he isn’t a part of the furniture and that he moves and licks and farts like a trooper. Ps, random side note, but his farts always smells like cauliflower these days. The toddler thinks is hilarious. I think its vomit inducing, but each to their own. Regardless of his weird scent, the baby watches the dogs every move, always desperate to pat, or vigorously whack him.

She spends a good chunk of her day giggling and crawling after him. Slowly though…oh my god so slowly…unless of course she has her eye on the stairs and then she is lightening freaking fast. I have deduced that her goal, weird as it may be, is to try to “catch” his tail. She wants to eat it apparently. I don’t think he will like that. I wouldn’t blame him. Imagine a tiny person chasing you around, trying to munch on your behind? It doesn’t sound that pleasant does it? Or maybe it does? You weirdo. Pffft.

And finally, she is entering her 7th leap now. It could explain the random bouts of grumpiness we have seen from her lately. However that could also be because we have changed her sleep times. She goes to bed later in the morning and sleeps longer in that first sleep (the first of two) than she ever used to. I guess because we are heading towards her only having one sleep a day in the not too distant future, which will be fun because it will bring a little more freedom with it to get out and about comfortably. Although it will also suck a bit, because it will mean that we have to entertain her more.

I mean, how many times can I sing “row, row, row your boat” before she learns English and tells me to shut the fuck up? #TakingBetsNow.

Gawd, shits getting real(er) now. I wonder what she will be like next month?

Stay tuned to find out!

 

Do you have stairs in your house? When your baby started climbing up, did that give you a feeling of anxiety or pride? What milestone has your baby recently hit? Leave a comment below as I would love to read all about your world too xxx