Here is the conclusion to the amazing seventh instalment in our Real Birth Story Series, contributed by the lovely Kate Noppert! As you may know, Kate has kindly contributed not one, but THREE incredibly raw stories which I have been absolutely priviledged to be able to publish for you over the last week.

If you haven’t read the first part’s to Kate’s story, then you can read them here. Click here for part one and here for part two xxx. 

This lovely conclusion outlines the birth of Kate’s final beautiful daughter Sylvie, and shows us that it can be possible to achieve the birth you hope for with the right support during and after birth. 

I am so thrilled to be able to present this final chapter to you all, and I hope that you enjoy the conclusion to Kate’s very raw and honest journey into parenthood as much as I did… xxx

Part III

I was pregnant again. And I was pretty focused on what I did and didn’t want for round two.

I knew the public system so much better and at 6 weeks I was booked into a new hospital with a caseload midwife.

I was determined to give my body the best chance to birth naturally. Each visit to the hospital was an emotional experience, I hadn’t realised just how much my previous experience would affect me. Despite being in a public hospital I had the option of an elective Caesar instead of induction if I went overdue to avoid triggering a PND relapse. But the end goal was always a natural birth without intervention.

Like round 1, by 8 months, I was experiencing serious Braxton Hicks. I was hopeful but knew it meant little and baby stayed put right through to my due date. I was 4 days overdue when I went in for a stretch and sweep but I wasn’t dilated and they couldn’t do the procedure. I was beginning to loose hope of ever experiencing natural labour.

At 5 days over I spent the morning chasing my toddler around the park and after dinner we took a stroll on an unseasonably warm October night. I struggled and barely made it home.

My usual evening “Braxton hicks” contractions kicked off at around 6-7 minutes apart and I thought little of it. I decided it was probably time to finish getting our pram ready. I cleaned it up and started sewing some new pram sheets as the contractions got stronger.

Around 10pm they were about 3-4 mins apart and I rang my midwife and told her the Panadol hadn’t worked this time and I thought things might be happening. My husband went to bed but not for long as contractions were coming every 2-3 mins by 11pm. After an hour or so of pacing around, and standing in the warm rain on our balcony I woke him up around midnight to start timing things properly and call my mum to come look after our toddler.

However as soon as I had company things became less regular. I spent 2 hours between the balcony and the shower. I wanted a bath so we headed to hospital. During the 8 minute car trip to hospital I had several contractions and 3 between the car and reception. I couldn’t believe I’d actually gone into labour naturally.

I met my midwife at the birth, but as soon as we arrived things slowed down again. We were assured it was normal and were given some space to settle in and let things get going again. Hours past and the contractions petered out to around 10 mins apart. I was feeling pretty embarrassed to have gotten my midwife out of bed for this no show. She assured me that many women with a history of trauma experienced stalled labour when admitted to hospital.

The rain fell lightly outside and made the street lights twinkle, I willed things to progress. As dawn lightened the sky I began to think we might as well just go home. The midwife suggested we check how far along I was.

I was 3cm dilated but I had a stretchy cervix that reached 6-7cm as babies head pushed down during a contraction so the midwife suggested we have a rest for an hour and see how things went. I drifted in and out of sleep with contractions continuing every 10 mins. Buoyed by a little rest, we worked through our options. Either we head home to let things progress naturally or I have my waters broken.

Exhausted and knowing I wouldn’t get much rest at home and lured by the assurance that I’d have a baby by lunchtime if I had my waters broken, we decided this was the best course of action.

“I’m too tired to do this naturally” I said, “I’d like to use the gas once things get moving”. My midwife suggested I might as well have a practice while she ruptured my membranes. At 9.15am I felt the warm waters trickle out and pool in the sheets below me. By the time I’d gotten cleaned up and onto a birthing ball I was in serious labour.

At 9.30am I asked my husband to call in the midwife, I was officially in first stage and contractions were hard and fast. I leant back on the ball with gas in hand thinking “I’m going to need ALL the drugs”. My husband sat behind me and held my heat pack and with each contraction I pushed his thumbs deep into my lower back for pain relief.

Things quickly moved into the primal phase, as a contraction ramped up I’d take a mouthful of gas then breath out the longest moans. I felt like a whale, singing in harmony with the beeping of the heavy machinery doing construction work next door. It was a surreal flight of oxytocin and gas.

I asked for my husband to get the midwife, things were serious now. She checked in briefly but went back to her paperwork. No sooner had she left than I yelled that I needed the midwife again.

It was 10.20am and I was ready to move into position to get this baby out.

As I had started out the first time, I was on my knees as I leant against the bed. I’d read a lot about the “pushing” of 3rd stage labour being unnecessary and that it was better to just breath your baby out. I don’t remember any pushing at all, with each contraction the baby moved down seemingly of her own accord. I was in the other world of the birthing mama, one where no thoughts exist, just feeling deep comfort in a dark cocoon of contractions and my whole body unconsciously taking over the process.

Or maybe that was the gas talking?

As she crowned I reached down to touch her, I could half hear the midwife asking for space to deliver the baby but I couldn’t process it, I was overwhelmed with the urge to guide my baby into the world. I instinctively knew what to do as she quickly entered the world.

The midwife and I both held her as she emerged, warm, slippery and a little blue. Amazement was quickly replaced by panic as I realised she wasn’t breathing. There was much fumbling as they encouraged her to breath and guided me to hold her.

I learnt later that the cord had been wrapped around her neck and although it felt like forever it only took a minute for her to start breathing. My placenta was birthed while this happened. I was helped out of my dress (no time for getting rid of that during labour) and onto the bed for skin to skin with my baby. While I was distracted and chatting she latched on and her first feed lasted an hour.

As I held her I imagined she must be a very petite little thing but she weighed in at 3.7kg and was 53cm long.

Sylvie a few hours old – Image (c) ellynshepherd.com.au on behalf of Kate Noppert

All three stages of active labour amounted to 1hr and 5 minutes. The midwife kept herself scarce throughout my labour and the whole process was calm and peaceful. She quietly did manual fetal monitoring and assured us all was well. There was no obstetrician involved in my pregnancy or birth and it was exactly what I wanted.

While very open to obstetrician care for complications, I have since become very passionate about the benefits of midwife lead care and wish this option was available to all expectant mothers who want it.

Epilogue

I was so well cared for after the birth of my second child, I stayed in a partner suite at the hospital for 4 nights and was seen by a psychiatrist and physiotherapist. I was supported by my midwife and felt so lucky. I healed quickly and bonded immediately with my baby.

Sylvie a few days old – Image (c) ellynshepherd.com.au on behalf of Kate Noppert

Sylvie – Image (c) mummalifelovebaby on behalf of Kate Noppert

However within a week of being home I began to feel nausea, anxiety and tears creep in. I was well supported by my GP and mental health team but I was on the edge and fearful of a relapse. I began to have thoughts I was uncomfortable with. I was terrified of spending time alone with my children. I remember Christmas shopping at MYER, walking around with tears in my eyes as I imagined strangers thinking I shouldn’t have had two babies, that I couldn’t be a good mum.

It vaguely passed my mind that I could drive into oncoming traffic and at the same time wonder why I would think that way. I felt like a failure, after all, I had the best possible birth and the best possible support and yet I was still sinking.

I discussed strategies and medication with my psychologist and doctor who I visited at least once a week. 6 weeks after the birth I decided on low dose medication. It was a great decision for me and my family and as the anxiety numbed then faded, and I felt more confident at home.

4 months after birth, I visited my psychologist for the last time.

It was both exciting and daunting to walk away from that support however for the first time, I began to feel properly connected to my first child and securely bonded to my second. PND, recovery and management had been such a huge part of my experience of parenthood that at certain times it defined me as a mother.

However, finally now, nearly 3 years on, PND is slowly becoming a part of our past and we can look forward to a positive future as a family.

My Real Birth Story – Kate Noppert – Image (c) mummalifelovebaby on behalf of Kate Noppert

Do you want to submit your own real birth story? Contact me via info@ellynshepherd.com.au and you may see your own story published next! xxx

By the way… Studies from the University of mummalifelovebaby (MLLBU) show that people who subscribe to the mummalifelovebaby website are more hilarious and attractive than most other people. Since you don’t want to be either weird-looking or as boring as a blade of grass, then you had better sign up now!  

And if you DO sign up now (seriously, do it), then you will receive my free mini ebook – “3 amazing things that you MUST do with chocolate”. YOU LUCKY THING! I mean, HELLO! Chocolate!

xxxxx